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just passed the 8 months on HRT marker a few days ago. and now that my boobies are starting to grow I'm wondering when they officially become Illegal 🤔

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Ladies, if your man isn't regularly offering you nesting material (picking up some sticks and hucking them at you), it's time to move on

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hey fedi i need a new place to sell my time to survive under capitalism

i have a quite diverse skillset ranging from hardware design to electronics to software, basically: if it's tech, chances are i have some useful knowledge already

i want something remote and with flexible working hours if at all possible


really wanna learn blacksmithing just so I can make my own custom knuckle knife and literally never make anything else

fun fact: I looked cute as hell last night (as I always do, but this time I put effort into it)

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hooking up is antifascistische Aktion. in this essay I will 

1. racialisation, anti-semitism and ableism are obviously cornerstones of fascism.

2. patriarchy is an often underappreciated foundation (see Ewa Majewska for discussion). Therefore modern fascist's demonisation of "gender ideology".

3. it follows that queer feminism is antifascist. (and terfism is a fascist impulse, but we all knew that even before Butler elaborated on it.)

4. the common strand of fascism is a drive to uniformity and stability, eventually an eternal immutable homogenous state; i.e. it's a death cult.

5. the death cult in traditional masculinity has a familiar form: 'witness me', glorious death in battle, self+sacrifice thru labour etc. Majewska notes that traditional feminity is also suicidal heroism; woman as childbearer has to supress every pulsation of life and desire, lives in a state of constant self anihilation.

6. life is by nature kaleidoscopically multiplying ungovernable eternal change. Life *is* diversity. Life is knobs, spectra, and chaos-theoretical unpredictable complexity; it is not toggles, binaries, blueprints.

7. the State is not, as Marx eurocentrically held, an inevitable consequence of agriculture or technology. the base does not determine the superstructure; decolonial anthropology shows this in basically every case. history is rich with the refusal of States well after the invention of these (see "Worshipping Power", Gelderlos), and indeed still now.

8. The State has the same goals as fascism.

9. Known States expanded by force, via imposition of religion. As in Gelderlos' title, Statism is literally the worship of power, the ideological commitment to submission as a net good.

10. Capitalism is a late stage of statism which secularises the divine right to ownership of the means by a particularly clever ideological trick; rather than deserving to be owners because they're appointed by gods, or descended from gods, the capitalist deserves to own because he owns; his ownership is advanced as proof of worth (industriousness, genius, inventiveness etc.). This Ourobouros reasoning is what makes capitalism such an unvaccinable virus.

11. Capitalism has however a weakness. In shedding the numinous to become a chameleon, it is fundamentally unsatisfying. You can sincerely have faith and extract meaning from serving Amon-Ra or Britannia, but nobody finds meaning in serving Bezos.

12. Fascism supplies this missing meaning to life richly, by worshipping death. It is one endstate of the State after capitalism.

13. Anything that supplies meaning through life rather than death will open a path towards a different endstate. Diversity, joy, queerness in the purest sense of the ripping of labels, the manufacture of new labels, the creative individual freedom of spontaneus chaos—there's a reason States/fascism call this "corruption"," dissipation", "decadence"; they *are*; they directly erode the project of control/eternality/death.

Put more concretely, if you make kinky porn and that kinky porn helps a fascist's daughter find out she's lesbian, you have won over death in life. This is an antifascist action.

14. Carework is marginalised by States (capitalism, fascism) for a reason. As a cohesion element of horizontal ungovernable bonds, mutual care is the glue of non-State socities, and something States deliberately have to erode to expand over free folk (e.g. by coöpting local identities and hierarchising them). The State _needs_ people to not depend on one another (debt in the gift economy forms bonds; when State money is imposed by force, it creates a culture of debt as a bad thing, except the indebtedness to the State (taxes, rent, royalties etc.) which is eternal and never quittable. (Graeber's "Debt")

It follows that carework is, in the most literal and concrete sense, antifascist action (Rituals of brutalisation in fascist socities are the converse of this. Brutalisation creates fascists, care and love creates antifascists).

15. Queer love is mutual carework.

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Gosh, you're so great! Yes, YOU, person reading this. I mean you. You're awesome.

fallout 4 has been in my steam library since a few months after release. I played once with a friend (before I even bought it) in what we called Jaeger Mode, inspired by Pacific Rim. we'd insisted for years that we were drift compatible. she did the keys and made us move around and interact with the world, I did the mouse stuff and occasionally hopped on keys for dialog we were very drift compatible. it was a great time and idk if I want to play again unless it's Jaeger Mode.

idk just thinkin about stuff 

clouds are weirdly grounding for me. I see clouds (especially the big fluffy fuckers!) and I'm reminded that there's a lot more to this than what I've got going on at the moment. I feel humbled and assured by how much bigger they are than they look.
trees are probably my biggest source of inspiration. trees are an immediate and thorough reminder that all this shit is connected. when we talk they fill me with pride, gratitude, and a similar assurance.

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“Do what you love and you’ll work super fucking hard all the time with no separation or any boundaries and also take everything extremely personally."


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as the nights draw in, please save your local epileptic a trip to A&E or worse by not attaching strobe lights to your bicycle / dog / living room windows / children / clothes and encourage your friends and family to do the same ❤

in conclusion, the as yet unmentioned MCU has worn me out on live action adaptations, with help from all the other works we've seen adapted into series over the last couple of decades. I am as tired of them as I am tired of variations on the word "adapt."

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and if they got the Big Three (Cree Summer, Phil LaMarr, and Kevin Michal Richardson, who have been in just about every cartoon over the last 20+ years) that'd be great too! and I'll throw in Keith David as a little bonus.

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plus! there are so many u and coming Black voice actors who could bring these characters to life. there's Philip Solomon, Kimberly Herbert Gregory, Dana Davis, Zeno Robinson, Ramone Hamilton, Lorraine Toussaint, Keston John. I pulled all these names from just 3 shows and they're all fucking fantastic.

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anyway it'd be great to see Stillness as an animated setting! I'd even be okay with it as a nfx series if they got the folks who worked on Yasuke to make it. or the team from Kipo. both had styles that blended familiar and experimental elements really well, which is only fitting for.

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plus there was the animated LOtR movie back in the ancient times. it wasn't awful, but it could never fully hold my attention. also the Earthsea anime (the series is another on the list of upcoming adaptations, this one is from A24 & Fox) which I'm told was Not Great. my understanding is that this one was more of an original-ish story, borrowing characters and scenes from the books. someone tell me. if it's worth watching please! I haven't seen it. (and I'll probably watch it regardless 🤷🏾‍♀️)

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it's getting together to figure it out • it's saying fuck surveillance capitalism • it's 2AM shitposting • it's experimentation • it's care & vulnerability • it's close readings, deep reflection, & learning • it's abolition.online baybee!!!